From the recording Lost Transimission
What Have I Done to You? is a song from Lost Transmissions, the new album by post-punk’er.
It begins in October.
The temperature has fallen, the colours are changing, and two people who once seemed to understand each other are standing somewhere between closeness and distance.
At the centre of the song is one question:
What have I done to you?
It is the kind of question we ask when something has changed but there is no single moment to blame. No betrayal. No argument that explains everything. No obvious ending.
Sometimes people simply begin to move apart.
The difficult part is realizing it only after the distance is already there.
Against the melancholic, melodic atmosphere of Lost Transmissions, the song unfolds slowly through bass-driven rhythms, guitars, analog textures and extended instrumental passages. Its long form leaves room for the question to return again and again, changing slightly each time it is asked.
Perhaps nothing happened suddenly.
Perhaps nobody was cruel.
Perhaps two people simply became quiet in slightly different ways.
And perhaps that is why the question is so difficult to answer.
What Have I Done to You?
From Lost Transmissions
post-punk’er
Distant. Imperfect. Melancholic. Alive.
These are the lost transmissions.
Lyrics
Sad October
Like I was afraid of
Lost again
Under the pink of the fall
And your eyes
They look different today
Maybe nothing changed
Maybe I only noticed
You are standing close to me
But something isn't there
I don't know when it disappeared
I only know it did
What have I done to you?
You used to say my name
As if it meant something
Now it sounds like any other word
We happen to remember
I keep thinking back
Looking for the moment
When something between us changed
Without either of us moving
I thought love would end loudly
With something said or done
I didn't know two people
Could simply become less
What have I done to you?
I ask myself again
As if there must be something
I can return to
And do differently
There are things I should have said
Things I said too much
Times you needed something from me
And I didn't understand
Maybe I was somewhere else
Even when I was beside you
Maybe you were leaving then
And I called it silence
But who am I
To know what you were feeling?
Who am I
To say where it went wrong?
Why do I love
What is already leaving?
And why does it hurt so much
Before it is even gone?
What have I done to you?
Nothing happened suddenly
That's what troubles me
Yesterday you were still here
Today you're somewhere I can't reach
Outside
October keeps its colour
The leaves don't seem unhappy
About having to let go
Maybe that's the difference
Between the autumn and me
It knows when something's over
I keep asking it to stay
What have I done to you?
Maybe nothing
Maybe that's worse
Maybe love can disappear
Without anyone being cruel
Without betrayal
Without a final word
Just two people becoming quiet
In slightly different ways
Soon October will be gone
Whether I'm ready or not
The pink will leave the sky
The cold will settle in
And maybe one day
I won't need to ask anymore
But today
Under the pink of the fall
And your eyes
I still don't understand
What have I done to you?
And why
do I still love you?